Struggling, But Fighting

Since midweek last week I have been struggling to maintain my health. The weather has been pressing hard, but I have resisted and keep on fighting. I have managed so far to remain out of the hospital. But it is taking a toll on me.

This Monday I am doing better than I have for the past five or six days. I am still in a pitched battle to remain at home.

I called the doctor's office this morning to both get one of my refills that was overlooked and to discuss my current respiratory distress. Instead of talking live to one of the nurses I ended up with the message center. I am still waiting a call back. But I believe and hope I can make it without a trip to the hospital this go round. I do have a check up scheduled for next Tuesday. Pray I can stay strong until then.

With my health the way it is, my comments and posting has been very limited. That will probably still be the case for a few more days.

Now if winter will let go and let spring arrive, I am sure I will be in a much better position. This frigid cold that continues to grip the Cornfield is not boding well for people like me. I know my Mom, sister and one of my brothers have also been struggling with breathing issues brought on by the current weather pattern. This is no fun.

And how is your Monday going?

Location: Indiana, United States

Icicles Hanging from My Nose

Good thing my respiratory issues are preventing me from venturing out of Mark's Den and into the Cornfield today. With the mercury rising only to 7 degrees and the real feel down at -10, I am sure if I were out for very long, I would have icicles hanging from my nose.

The forecast for tonight and tomorrow is not going to be any better. Tonight the temperature will be dropping to at least -5 again with wind chills as low as 20 to 25 degrees below zero.

As if the bitter, biting cold is not enough, the forecasters are calling for snow Saturday and Sunday. This is starting to be a repeat of last year's winter that never wanted to end.

The pressure front that seems to have stalled across the Cornfield is not good for my health or ability to breathe. Most of the morning as well as last night, I have kept the oxygen flowing. Without it, I would be having major respiratory distress. As I told Iohn yesterday, most likely without the machine and home O2, I would have already been back in the hospital.

One of the liveliest discussions on CNN's iReport is an op-ed I uploaded From the Cornfield Wednesday: iReport Vibrant or Terminal?

Check it out and add your thoughts and comments.

Breathing is the main concern I have on this frigid Thursday. Next to that is staying warm. Fortunately in Mark's Den it is comfortable.

And how is your Thursday going?


Location: Indiana, United States

Bitter Cold Taking Bite in the Cornfield

The most frigid temperatures of this winter season have the Cornfield in their icy grip. While inside Mark's Den it is comofortable enough and warm, that does not mean that the freezing cold is not having an impact.

The front which seems to have stalled across the area is making breathing very difficult. The pressure on my chest is best depicted in the commercial for those with COPD who have an elephant sitting on them. The past two days and nights including today have had me wanting to do one thing - sleep. And I have.

Unless I am at the computer or fixing a bite to eat, I sit in my recliner and quickly doze off into slumber land. Fortunately the cluster headaches are not taking the usual advantage of these naps. The napping and the cold combined, however, are having an ill effect on the depression I battle daily.

According to the National Weather Service this chill-to-the-bone pattern will continue until nearly midday Friday:

WIND CHILL VALUES OF 15 TO 24 BELOW ZERO AND POSSIBLY LOWER ARE EXPECTED THROUGH MIDDAY FRIDAY.

That means another two nights and a day and a half of torture.

I am not giving in to the torment. I am fighting on and doing my best to maintain a normal existence. It is not easy.

If I am silent, know I am battling the elements.

And how is your midweek going?

Location: Indiana, United States

Another Snowy Monday, Bitterly Cold Week

The snow continues to fall across the Cornfield on this bitterly cold Monday. The roads are slick and snow covered. The white is expected to fall until after sunset. The wind is blowing around 10 miles per hour making the 15-degree temperature feel like 4 degrees.

What a way to start the new week.

Currently I am experiencing good health. The breathing is stable and oxygen level remains at or above 95% as long as I stay seated and don't move around. Quickly I become breathless and gasping when I attempt any chore or walk from room to room. Yet, still compared to late last year or those rough couple of weeks in January I am doing very well.

Iohn continues to work six days a week. He is growing more attuned to his new management position every day. Looking as if he will be going off to manager's training at corporate headquarters in South Carolina within the next couple of months.

The wait is on for our income tax refund. It has been processed and approved. It should hit the bank within the next couple of days. Bills have already claimed a good chunk of the return.

My focus remains muddled and difficult to achieve. My interest is also low to near zero. Yet, I know I must press on some way, some how.

Main goal today is to stay safe and warm as the snow keeps falling. For Iohn the aim is to make it to and from work safely.

And how is your Monday going?

Location: Indiana, United States

Lost Interest, Muddled Focus

Once upon a time in the not too far distant past, I was diligent in posting to Inside My Mind daily. I was also vigilent in comment and opining at From the Cornfield on the political issues of the daily, sometimes more than once. There was a much enthusiasm and gusto when I started my daily Kernels From the Cornfield recapping the headlines and current events which had piqued my curiosity on a given Monday through Friday.

Now it seems that I have lost interest in posting or commenting. Now it seems my focus is muddled not allowing me to voice my opinion or to share my take on what is happening around the corner or around the world.

As I debated on making an entry today, the idea of writing, sharing my thoughts seemed more of a task or an unwamted chore than the relief and satisfaction it once brought. Perhaps in part of my waning ability to form the words is that those who visit web sites and read what I have penned can be counted most days on half of one hand.

Then I wonder what impact or what change is what I think or write having on anyone?

While my writings continue to be therapeutic for me, I wonder if anyone else is deriving anything of import from my thoughts and ideas?

Or am I merely going through the motions of an exercise in futility?

Such it is on this gray, cold midweek day.

You decide on the validity or usefulness of sharing what is Inside My Mind with the world.

And how is your Wednesday going?

Location: Indiana, United States

Waiting Game

This Monday has me stuck in Mark's Den playing the waiting game. I may have the freedom which having my own vehicle provides, but this first day of the new week, it is not doing me much good.

Iohn decided that he really didn't want the sectional outfit we are purchasing from Aaron's. He believes it is too big for our duplex. To be honest we have the middle section in the extra bedroom to allow room for the piano in the living room and my computer in the kitchen now.

So on Friday we went shopping. We are trading back in the sectional, the coffee table, two end tables and two lamps for a love seat which becomes adjoining recliners with a drink caddy in between. We are keeping the area rug, however.

I will admit it will free up a lot of room. Iohn plans to rearrange the living room completely and place my computer back as well instead of in the kitchen. It will look nice when completed.

But at the moment, nearly 6 p.m., I am still waiting for the delivery men to arrive and swap out the furniture.

There is nothing I enjoy more than sitting around and waiting all day. If it is like it was when the sectional set was delivered, the new piece should arrive around 7 p.m. We tend to be the last stop on the run each delivery.

Iohn got everything ready for pick up before he left for work. He was scheduled to start at 4 p.m., but went in and started at 1 p.m. He is working until close as supervisor today. He will also be supervisor tomorrow.

In the mean time, I sit and wait.

And how is your Monday going?

Location: Indiana, United States

Partly Sunny Versus Partly Cloudy

It is the age-old question to determine if a person is an otimist or a pessimist.

Is the glass half full or half empty?

I think that how you view a day like today in the Cornfield also answers that question.

Is it partly sunny or partly cloudy?

I choose to think of the day as partly sunny. While not ignoring the fact there are clouds which overshadow the sun at times, I believe in concentrating on the brighter side rather than the grayer side of the day. To me, this means I am more optimist than pessimist.

Over the past three years filled with so many trials and tribulations with my health and finances, I do not believe I would have fared as well if I had looked out the window and saw a partly cloudy day. It is looking out and seeing the sun still shining and paths to move from the overcast into the ligth which has kept me striving, fighting to overcome.

How do you view a day that has both sun and clouds in the sky?

Do you see a partly cloudy day or do you see a partly sunny day?

With that thought in mind, how is your Sunday going?

Location: Indiana, United States