November Ends

Delve into the light and dark that is Mark
Delve into the light and dark that is Mark

The last day of November, 2015 is upon us. The year will soon be history.

Had to rise at 7 a.m. today to make sure I am awake and my mind clear. TheĀ  cable technician is to be here some time between 8 a.m. and noon. Naturally he has yet to arrive.

Some of the channels on my television tend to pixelate, making viewing impossible. It is not always the same stations or networks.

My new project, Citizen Journalists Live, is off to a good start. For some reason, some of those registering to participate are having problems with logging in to the site.

I am not sure if they are not saving the site-generated password (which is long and weird) or what the issue. I have suggested everyone to click the lost password link and reset the password to one that is easier for them to remember.

Speaking of CJL, you too can become a citizen journalist! Register today and begin to share your world with others.

This rainy weather and cooler temperatures are getting to me. I am still doing much better than I was before my exodus to the Desert this summer.

My biggest issue, which is complicated by my cluster headaches, is dealing with the depression. The depression tends to grow with each passing day. My ability to ignore and cope is becoming weaker.

Come tomorrow, the refrain which seems to have become my anthem over the past 15 years or so will be playing in my brain.

“If we make it through December, everything’s going to be alright.”

That’s the way it is in Mark’s Den at the start of a new week and the eve of a new month.

And how is your Monday going?

Happy 26th Birthday, Kevin!

Cathie and I were at Dr. Betty Duke’s office in Dugger around 4 p.m. The weather forecasters had put out a winter storm warning with significant snow.

Dr. Betty looked at Cathie, laughing, “Honey, you are in labor.”

That said with the storm threat we drove straight to Mary Sherman Hospital in Sullivan, Indiana. It would not be for over seven hours around 11:30 p.m. when Kevin Duane Ivy would make his debut on November 29, 1989.

Life has never been the same. LOL

In tribute I have put together a few collages to celebrate Kev’s 26th birthday. I am sure he will find some of the images cringe worthy. But, hey, that’s what Dads get to do.

Kevin, the Newborn

Newborn Kevin

Kev with Dad and Mom too

Dad and Kev – Oh yeah, with Mom too

Kev and the Paternal Grandparents

Kev with the Grandparents and older Brother Dave and Cuz

Kev and the Love of his Life - Hailey

Kev and the love of his life – Hailey

Now a few of Kevin through the years:

Through the Years

Through the Years

Through the Years

Through the Years

Through the Years

Through the Years

Through the Years

You may be a thousand miles away, but you are always in my heart and on my mind. Love you, Son.

May today be a wonderful 26th birthday.

From Dad and Chooey – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Actions Are What Count

Delve into the light and dark that is Mark
Delve into the light and dark that is Mark

Words can be powerful. Words can bring peace or war. Words can provide solace or cut deep to the core. But it is not so much what is said that matters, but rather the actions of the one speaking which really count.

At times silence can be deafening and say much more than the spoken words. Silence is tacit action by non-action. Psychologists would call this being passive-aggressive.

So it is that when someone tells you something, it may soon good to the ear and momentarily to the mind. Yet, when the actions or non-actions do not convey what is spoken, it becomes a nightmare and can be quite hurtful.

Thus this Saturday morning in Mark’s Den, I am pondering the reality of actions versus the ethereal words belied.

Ever wanted to be a newspaper or magazine or television reporter, sharing your thoughts, photos or videos with the world?

Now you can!

Go visit Citizen Journalists Live. Register to be a citizen journalist sharing the world around you with the world at large.

Create your “news” story or opinion on a subject and post it for all to see.

Or upload your photos for others to enjoy.

Create a video of breaking news or your fur baby romping and playing. Upload it for others to ooh and ah over.

The link is: http://citizens.fromthecornfield.com

Become a member today and be on your way to being a citizen journalist!

That’s the way it is this rainy weekend morning in Mark’s Den.

And how is your Saturday going?

The Day After

Delve into the light and dark that is Mark
Delve into the light and dark that is Mark

The rain is falling on this day after Thanksgiving across the Cornfield. The falling precipitation is expected to last through most of the day and evening.

Inside Mark’s Den, the mood is somber. The cluster headaches are at nearly full bore. The depression grows, blocking out almost all light.

Not to say there are not some bright spots. One such up moments was when Chooey decided to play with my feet and the bottom of my jeans.

Those moments, however, are few and far between. Today, I wonder if I have long outgrown my usefulness. I wonder if I am holding on to thin air, much like someone playing an air guitar.

I am very appreciative of family and friends especially over the past few months. Yet, I seem to keep putting my foot in my mouth.

Unlike Donald Trump who can say the most outrageous and offensive things, I can say something seemingly innocuous and it turns out I have said something wrong. Or I should have clarified and added more information.

Each day it becomes more evident to me, I have no purpose. I am a liability. I am a failure. I am a burden.

The thoughts going through my mind are very dark on this Black Friday. In fact that name for this day after Thanksgiving is quite appropriate for the perception of life Inside My Mind.

That’s the way it is the start of the last weekend of November in Mark’s Den.

And how is your Friday going?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Delve into the light and dark that is Mark
Delve into the light and dark that is Mark

I send out my wish to one and all for a day of reflection, a time with family and friends, a day of peace, love and joy before the madness of shopping fever and football mania take over.

May you find that no matter your situation, station in life, health or wealth, there is always something to be found for which to be grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

One More Notch in My Health Belt

Delve into the light and dark that is Mark
Delve into the light and dark that is Mark

On Tuesday I was able to add one more notch in my health belt. I had a follow-up with Dr. Bharat Dave, my urologist.

I once more was given a good prognosis. The exam went well enough, I do not have to see the good doctor again for a year.

My prostate which had been enlarged has shrank back to normal. I will have to continue, however, taking Flomax. He also ordered a PSA screening.

Prostate specific antigen (PSA) test: Measures the level of PSA in the blood. This is a routine test to ensure that I have not developed prostate cancer.

It is not expected to be remarkable. In other words, I should be clean and clear. My urinalysis showed no issues or concerns. This now makes five follow-ups with my different medical providers where I have received improving health news.

Next up is a check-up by my ophthalmologist on December 4.

This is Thanksgiving Eve. I will be spending tomorrow with Chooey. Most likely we will be feasting on spaghetti.

Iohn said he plans to bring me a plate from his Thanksgiving with his fiancee, Brittany. We will see.

Speaking of Iohn, according to the Vigo County Clerk of Court’s office, our divorce should be finalized around November 30. This means next week some time, we should be receiving our final decree papers in the mail.

In case you missed it, I did post my annual Thanksgiving message last night. You can read it here:

For This I Am Grateful

That’s the way it is this midweek day in Mark’s Den.

And how is your Hump Day going?

Keep Holding On

Delve into the light and dark that is Mark
Delve into the light and dark that is Mark

Tuesday and I keep holding on. At times I wonder why I persist.

Yet, no matter the struggle, the skirmish, like the Energizer bunny I keep going and going and going.

With the changes with CNN’s iReport web site, my connection with the outer world has been brought to a new low. No longer am I getting feedback, getting interaction with other humans.

Yes, I continue to write my posts here Inside My Mind.

Yes, I continue to offer my opinion at From the Cornfield.

Yes, I continue to recap the headlines and current events with Kernels From the Cornfield.

But to what end?

For some reason, people do not comment on my blog posts. People do not seem to read those posts.

The interaction, the reaction, the back and forth came when I shared my thoughts, my writings on iReport.

Now that is gone.

It is not known if it will ever be again.

Though I have been told a new uploader will be added in December to iReport, will it actually allow for posts or will it only be those handpicked by CNN for stories it is covering and only a slight snippet?

Will it eventually once more allow users to comment and interact with one another?

Yes, an online friend, a fellow iReporter, a Facebook contact has begun a group to allow us to continue to share as we did on iReport, but through the social media’s Facebook.

Though only in its second day, the feedback, the commentary has yet to develop. Nor are there signs that will come to pass any time soon.

While my writing tends to be therapeutic for me, without the tete a tete, how therapeutic can it be?

I am becoming more and more an island unto myself, a solitary figure more alone as each day dawns.

Turning to other thoughts, I travel to Terre Haute this afternoon for my fifth doctor’s follow-up since my return from the Desert to the Cornfield. This time it is with my urologist, Dr. Dave.

Will the good reports continue when I see the good doctor?

That’s the way it is this second day of Thanksgiving Week in Mark’s Den.

And how is your Tuesday going?

Thanksgiving Week Begins

Delve into the light and dark that is Mark
Delve into the light and dark that is Mark

The start of Thanksgiving Week is upon us as this Monday morning dawns.

Sunshine is dominating across the Cornfield. The mercury readings are down right cold with a current temp of 37 degrees. It was 29 when I crawled out of bed. The humidity was at 64% and now is 52%. Once more around 4 a.m.

Chooey woke me barking after hearing a sound in the hallway. Even with the door closed to the bedroom, Chooey is not allowing me to get through the night with full, undisturbed sleep.

The snow that fell on Saturday is all gone. The white stuff did not even last 24 hours. That is fine with me.

Tomorrow I have a check up with my urologist, Dr. Dave (pronounced Dah-vay). Then next Thursday, December 4, I have a follow-up with my ophthalmologist, Dr. Ponugotti.

For those wanting to find the latest CNN iReports, you can follow this link: http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/21/opinions/assignment-cnnireport-share-your-story-irpt/index.html.

Thursday is Thanksgiving Day. As of now, it looks that I will be sharing the holiday alone with Chooey.

This coming Sunday, my youngest son, Kevin, will turn 26.

No longer my "little Bubba"
No longer my “little Bubba”

Where have the years gone?

That’s the way it is the start of this last full week of November in Mark’s Den.

And how is your Monday going?

No Rest

Delve into the light and dark that is Mark
Delve into the light and dark that is Mark

The saying goes that there is no rest for the worry. I can relate to that this morning. For some reason,

Chooey was barking to beat the band early this morning. He first became an alert watch dog around 3:45 a.m.

I did have the bedroom door closed, which has helped. Not so this morning.

I finally got him settled down. I fell back to sleep until Chooey started again at 5:30.

Acknowledging it was a losing battle, I stumbled into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. For the last hour and a half or so, I have sipped on my morning joe and watched the news.

Of course once I was up, Chooey laid down at my feet and went back to sleep.

The first snow of the season came unexpected on Saturday. Well, it was forecast, but for well north of where I am in the Cornfield.

1121151211 1121151211d 1121151211c 1121151211aAs you can see from the images, it was quite a sight.

Chooey, born in the Desert and not quite six months old yet, got his first taste of the white, wintry stuff as well.

That’s the way it is on this Lord’s Day in Mark’s Den.

And how is your Sunday going?

Gray, Wet Saturday in the Cornfield

Delve into the light and dark that is Mark
Delve into the light and dark that is Mark

Woke this Saturday morning to a light rain falling across the Cornfield. As the sun came up, the gray of the day became apparent. In many ways the look outdoors mirrors the grayness Inside My Mind.

Dad and Susie are going shopping today. They are picking up a few things for me as well such as powdered milk and cooking oil. This comes at the right moment with over a week and a half until my payday.

I really am appreciative of all my family and friends have done and do for me. Without all of you I am not sure how I would survive.

Chooey has adapted well to life in the Cornfield after being born in the Desert and living the first three months of his life there. I cannot wait to see his reaction to the snow.

The pain in my right lower abdomen has yet to subside. While not constant, when the sharp pangs rip through me, I yelp involuntarily.

All I can say is, “Ignore don’t fail me now!”

That’s the way it is on this wet, chilly day in the Cornfield as I sit in the warmth and coziness of Mark’s Den.

And how is your Saturday going?