Back With a Fury


After a two-week vacation, the first in 20 years, the cluster headaches are back with a fury. I had no relief from 1995 until moving from the Cornfield to the Desert. Two weeks without the constant, daily barrage of cluster attacks.

So much for the reprieve.

Last night’s spectacular Rockets Over the River was a true sight to behold and enjoy. You can see my video of the entire display at: Rockets Over the River.

Running out of medicine. Running out of food. But trusting the good Lord to take care of me.

The humidity has been in the double digits and averaging around 20% the past few days. While that is low for most of the nation, it is a tad high for here. My body can tell it. My winded spells have increased. Recovery has been a little longer.

Yet, compared to back in the Cornfield, the Desert breathing issues are less taxing and worrisome. Not saying that the spells do not get to me, they do.

Worked on my experience at the fireworks display until nearly 5 a.m. As you probably can guess, I slept in. Now I am trying to make up for the time I lost, time to take my meds, do my treatment.

Going to be a lazy Sunday in the Desert.

And how is your day after Independence Day?

Happy 4th of July!


Happy 4th of July to each and everyone whether you are at home in the US of A or abroad. To our many members of the armed forces serving around the world, some in harms way, we salute you as you defend our independence won some nearly 240 years ago.

I had thought to proclaim a certain personal independence today, but my body said, “Not so fast.” For the first time in 20 years I have had a remission in cluster headache attacks. Since moving to the Desert, for the past two weeks I have been pain-free and without an attack.

That unbelievable change came to a halt this morning. The onslaught is back. The pain is back. The severity is back.

As has happened over the past two decades each time I thought Horton’s Syndrome may be letting up, the clusters would remind me how devastating they can be. So it is this day. My vision is blurry. Focus is off. And the pain…definitely having to hit my ignore button today.

Plan to go down to the Riverside Resort later this evening and take in the fireworks display. I am hoping I can capture the Rockets Above the River in pictures. I may try to get a bit of video as well.

The depression is also hitting today. While my holidays have never been with a crowd or a bunch of family and friends, this year is lonelier. For over a decade I had Iohn to spend time on holidays. Now, there is no one, not even my Boys – Frankie and Gizmo.

Time to buck it up.

Time to press the ignore.

Time to celebrate our freedom

That’s the way it is for me in the Desert this Saturday, Independence Day.

And how is your 4th of July?

Check out my offering to America’s liberty: Happy Birthday, US of A!

4th Celebrants Gather for Early Fireworks


It may be the day before Independence Day, but the traffic is picking up and the tourists are swamping the resorts and casinos along the Colorado River this Friday. Not just another holiday weekend, these party people are in town not only to gamble, play in the water, but to see the 25th annual extravaganza of Rockets Over the River both tonight and tomorrow night.

I have not decided yet if I can going to venture out and push through the crowds on Casino Drive or find a perch at Mountain View Park to ooh and ah when “the bombs bursting in air” later this evening and tomorrow evening.

The humidity has been up for the past couple of days following the “monsoon” passed through. Yep, it has climbed up to 40% and stayed in the teens! Can you believe that high?

I can definitely tell the difference. It has made breathing more close and tightness in my chest. Going up my stairs has left me more than slightly winded. Can’t wait for the humidity to drop back into single digits.

That’s what’s happening this TGIF in the Desert.

And how are you prepping for this Independence Day weekend?

Oh, check out my birthday wish to America at From the Cornfield.

Sliding Toward the Fireworks


Today is more than your normal Wednesday. It is Hump Day – you are at the top of the hill and can see the weekend. It is the first day of a new month – July. It is the slide to celebration as the nation shoots off fireworks, has picnics, parades and parties in recognition of Independence Day this Saturday, the Fourth of July.

For me it is pretty much just another day. However, I do have plans to drive to Mountain View Park on Saturday to watch “Rockets Over the River” – the annual fireworks display here in the Desert.

Talk about wind, my goodness! At times I thought I was sitting out in the middle of a tornado or hurricane late last night. The sky was filled with a lightning display to rival the upcoming fireworks over the Colorado River. After I turned into bed, the rain came in a deluge.

Around here it is called a monsoon. No, it is not like the monsoons seen in movies and the news which occur in Southeast Asia and the Pacific islands. But still that’s the moniker used. We are now in monsoon season which will last a couple of months, I am told.

I continue to grow stronger. I continue to improve. Although the humidity is up today due to the storm and threats of more today, my breathing is so improved from where it was back in the Cornfield.

Sipping my coffee. Thinking of the past. Thinking of the future.

Where do I go from here?

Which door will open?

That’s the way it is this midweek day in the Desert Mark’s Den.

And how is your Wednesday going?

June Ends


This month could not come to an end soon enough. With what has occurred from Iohn leaving me without warning to my trek from the Cornfield to the Desert, this month has been a rollercoaster ride. A ride I am still learning with which to cope.

What will July bring?

Will there be more upheaval in my life?

Will I find a friend?

Will I survive?

One thing is certain, though the swirling dark waters of depression ever threaten, I will not go “softly into that dark night”. I will go yelling and kicking. At times I may be on the verge of submitting to those demons that want to steal my soul and sanity, I know in whom I have believed.

There will be good days ahead. There will be bad days. But each day I see the sun in the morning, the night sky,  it is a day I have won.

Moving on is not easy. But move on, I must.

That’s how it is this last day in June.

And how is your Tuesday, June 30th, going?

Oh yeah! Tell me what you think of the new blog format and software.

And don’t forget to check out Kernels From the Cornfield, my daily take on the headlines and current events.

The New Inside My Mind


Welcome to the all new Inside My Mind!

Following months of the other blog software crashing for no reason, I decided to change the format to WordPress. For years I have used and enjoyed the b2evolution software for my blogs.

However, this continued crashing has become unacceptable. It has only been happening to Inside My Mind, but not to From the Cornfield and Kernels From the Cornfield. It is a mystery.

I have also switched both of those over to the WordPress software as well.

Hope you enjoy the new layout and continue to follow along delving into the light and dark of Mark.