Inside My Mind

There has been much discussion, many sermons and a lot of misinformation about the reason for the destruction of the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. The most widely "accepted" and taught belief about the reason for God destroying these cities is homosexuality. Nothing can be further from the truth.

Re-read the story. Re-read exactly what happened and why. The full account is found in Genesis chapters 18 and 19.

The sin, the crime was not homosexuality and had nothing to do with sexuality. The sin was that of rape, greed, force. The cities were destroyed because the entire community had succumbed to control, power and violence. All of which are factors in rape.

The law of the land in the United States of America recognizes that the crime of rape has less to do with sexuality and more to do with the issue of force, greed, control. Rapists are bent on humiliating their victims. Forcing their victims into acts without their consent, without their control, without their ability to act and react as we were created with our God-given right of self-determination and self-control.

The fact that the angels are identified as males in the Biblical account has nothing to do with what the men of the cities were wanting to do. Had the angels been identified as female the story would have been the same. Even when offered Lot's daughters the men refused. Not because they were female, but because the issue was not sexual contact, but force, control, dominance...not having their way with "willing" subjects.

So why is the reality of what occurred obscured? Why do so many quickly want to blame sexuality as the reason for the destruction?

If sexuality was the factor, why were the subsequent father/daughter acts not brought about a similar outcry? Are relations with one's child more easily accepted and understood? Are the misunderstanding and the misinformation about human sexuality so rampant and so frightening that in our unwillingness to understand and learn we must strike out, castigate, humiliate and denigrate others?

If this is so, part of the crime, the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah continues to be rampant. The control, the force, the humiliation, the disregard of free choice are all in polar opposition to the teachings of Jesus Christ and of the Ten Commandments.

God proclaimed to the prophet, "Not by might, not by power, but my Spirit, saith the Lord." Yet, we continue to want to assert might and power over others, forcing ourselves, our opinions, our ideas, our prejudices, our fears on others.

Why are we afraid to let the Spirit of God make any changes or rearrange lives? Is God not able to figure out right and wrong? Is God not able to determine saint from sinner?

The Word is specific and without confusion, "Whosoever calls on the Name of the Lord shall be saved." Period. End of sentence.

So far, this first week of August has proven to be a continuation of the disparity and general atmosphere of doom that has plagued me in the Den over the last month. My clusters have been rampant in intensity. My mood has become darker as I sink into a hole of depression. Try as I might, I cannot seem to rise out of the pit and press towards daylight.

Finances continue to be tenuous. Efforts to stabilize and smooth out the rough edges have only produced limited results. Iohn is doing his best, working more hours.

Unless relief comes before Friday, I will be forced to cancel my appointment with the oral surgeon next Tuesday. My hopes to resolve my dental deterioration are closed to being dashed on monetary rocks of woe.

For the last four years I have struggled to regain a normal footing in the world. Each effort has brought limited steps forward only to be rewarded with a back slide of a dozen steps. It is difficult to get ahead when one keeps stumbling back down the mountain in front of him or her. While the peaceful valley lies just on the other side, it remains out of sight, out of touch.

Hope dims, but remains alive.

July is behind us and August is on the ascent. July ended with turmoil for at least this denizen of the Den. While summer returned to the cornfield with plenty of sunshine, in the Den the storms hit me hard. The sometimes traumatic effects of my cluster headaches were in full force. My mental stability has been questionable at times. The clusters lived up to their nickname this week - "suicide headaches". No, I never got to the point of an attempt, there were those times I wished, hoped, prayed that I could just be put out of my misery. Today, the depressive side continues to plague me.

Was made aware a couple of days ago the minister of the small church I attend has been let go. Not sure what the environment will be like as I travel to worship this morning.

Iohn's hours have been increased this coming month at Patrick's restaurant, where he is the lead cook on evening shift. Hopefully the upswing in hours will make life financially less stressful over the coming month.

Frankie and Tigger have had a house guest the past few days. Horatio, the neighbors chihuahua, has been with us. The neighbors work flea markets and fairs some weekends. We offered to dog sit for them rather let him be left alone in the house while they were gone for 3 and a half days. Overall there have been no incidents of note. All the animals have interacted well.

Clouds cover the sky in the cornfield this morning. Clouds swirl within the Den as well. Yes, it has been a rough week.

Due to my recent trip to the IUPUI School of Dentistry and subsequent contact, I penned a letter to whatever officials of the school I could last week. That letter follows. The letter did produce the result of the return in the mail yesterday of my dental x-ray.

To Whom It May Concern:

You have one very unhappy, dissatisfied Hoosier and was-to-be patient.

Your School of Dentistry was not my choice, but rather I was referred to your facility being told this was my only option to receive treatment. The referring dentist was incorrect. That I don't hold against your facility, however, it does raise the question of whether you are paying for referrals.

The claims that cost is substantially less by using the student resources is patently false. It may apply to the Indianapolis dental/oral surgery practices, but for someone like me living 2 and 1/2 hours to the southwest, it is an untruth. The cost, after checking, is nearly three times the cost in my local area. Statement of the "lower cost" needs to be stated in a way that the patient understands this only applies to Indianapolis and not necessarily elsewhere in the state where care may be obtain at a substantially less cost.

I was told on my initial evaluation as I knew that oral surgery was necessary. The student dentist and overseeing professor/doctor of dentistry concurred and consulted while I was there with the oral surgery consultant who was there that day. I was informed that all I needed to do was call the University hospital to set up the appointment for surgery. When I called I was told that was incorrect and I needed to come in for another evaluation two months down the road. The process based on what I was told would take me nearly a year before I could have dentures and correct my ever-decaying oral problem. This is beyond unacceptable.

The same process, I have learned, locally can be completed within the next two months. This is a major difference. Plus instead of driving two and a half hours a week over the next year, I can make three trips of 30 minutes in two months and be complete.

Next issue is my own X-ray I brought with me. Seems I have to have my own property released to me only once I complete a form allowing my property to be returned to me. This is bogus. There is no claim to hold my property. Now I am having to wait on a release form to be sent to me and be mailed back rather than just sending me MY property. This is undue paperwork and hardship on someone like me who is 100% disabled.

Had I known of the miscommunication, misstatements, the elevated costs, the length of time and the unnecessary red-tape, I would never have contacted nor sought consultation through your facility. For a state-supported facility, you cause undue hardship on the citizenry with this type of service.

Mark Ivy
Dugger IN

Sunday morning, the middle of July...or is it July? From the mercury readings throughout the cornfield you would never know we are in the middle of the dog days of summer. The temperature never rose above the low 60s yesterday. Today low 70s is on tap.

After an especially hot June, I am not complaining. Anything to keep costs down is welcome. Also outdoor activities are much more pleasant with the cooler weather. Fairs going on throughout the state have found visitors enjoying and visiting in higher numbers.

Clouds cast a gray look on the cornfield this morning. Threats of thunderstorms are on tap for this afternoon.

The ever-present battle with finances continues to plague us in the Den. Iohn is doing all he can, working harder and more hours. Seems the more he works, the less green is left at the end of the week. I have proposals out there for web design and hosting, but no positive action yet. All I can do is wait.

My Thursday evenings are not filled. I have been working the "cage" for bingo at the American Legion. My Sunday mornings give relief from the mundane as I have been and will continue serving as pianist for the Disciples of Faith, an independent church in the small burg of Paxton about 15 miles to the southwest.

While the past month as seen the loss of many celebrities, the one that has hit close to home for me was the demise Friday of revered journalist Walter Cronkite. I well remember "Uncle Walter", his booming and yet soothing voice, as he gave us the low down as the Cuban Missile crisis unfolded, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, the meltdown of the Viet Nam War, the first moon walk...and no, not that of Michael Jackson, but of Armstrong and company.

The only subsequent anchor that has garnered my trust since Cronkite retired is Tom Brokaw. But even the steady, honest Brokaw pales in comparison to Uncle Walter. How can one forget sitting in the classroom as the movie projector whirred and hearing Cronkite narrate the "The Way It Was" history series. He had a way of speaking and bringing history not only to life, but relevance.

Uncle Walter, you will be missed.